Alumni Connection October 2023

Editorial

Embarrassing Moments in Sport

The internet is awash with videos showing people having the most-embarrassing moments in their chosen sport, often causing me to burst out laughing. One such incidence, a wardrobe mishap which occurred on the ice during a figure-skating competition, immediately reminded me of a not-so-funny, ice-related mishap of my own some years ago. As a youth in St. Lambert, I had enjoyed playing hockey for years with my friends at the outdoor rink at Lesperance Park, but with a heavy course load, teaching, and thesis work for nine years at McGill and the University of Illinois, I had to forego my beloved game.

When I moved to Winnipeg to take up my new career, I eventually joined an ‘Old-timers League,’ and passed the long winters playing games on a weekday night at 11:00 pm and Sunday mornings at 8:00 am, the only times arena ice was available. Some years later, my wife and I joined up with six other couples to regularly play badminton, and our group soon became close friends. The guys convinced me it would be fun to form a hockey team and challenge other old-timers in neighbouring communities. As most former amateur hockey players know, it is tempting in one’s senior years to once again don old and replacement hockey equipment and attempt to recapture the thrill and companionship of playing on a team.

Our supportive wives all agreed to attend the games and to cheer us on in the stands right behind our bench. I had no inkling that fate was soon to step in and create which would turn out to be one of my life’s most-embarrassing incidents. During the heat of the game, it was my line’s turn to hit the ice while the play continued, and so I threw both feet and my behind gracefully over the high boards just like a pro, and with the gusto of youth I thought; “Yes, I still have it!” Sadly, there was an evil nail protruding from the top rail of the boards that managed to deftly latch onto one of the open legs of my hockey pants.

You might anticipate what happened next; I got hooked like a fish out of water. Looking down at my poor skates, there they were, floating helplessly some distance above where they were supposed to be. My elbow and shoulder pads stubbornly refused to permit me to pull myself back up, and the situation eventually dawned on me that I was entirely helpless, hanging like a picture on an art gallery wall for all to enjoy.

Well, when my team mates on the bench and dear cheerleaders became aware of my predicament, the arena suddenly erupted in howls of laughter, which soon spread like ‘the wave’ to the other team and their wives. Talk about embarrassing! Play went on without me as I watched helplessly, my wingers wondering what happened to their centerman. What could I possibly do to extricate myself? My team members on the bench were certainly not going to help me! Several potential options flashed across my mind, but only one seemed to lead to a solution. I decided the only course of action was to quickly shift my torso and shoulders upward and then back down as forcefully as possible, which I presumed would yank my indisposed pant leg free. But then I heard the frightening sound of polyester fabric ripping, followed by my sudden descent and sprawl onto ice level. As I gathered up my hockey stick and got back up on my skates, I glanced back over my shoulder only to see that the rip had really opened the back of my pants, fully exposing the bright white pair of long-johns covering my right butt. What followed next was the sound not only of renewed laughter, but hoots and the clapping of many female hands arising from behind me in the stands, as if the ladies were enjoying a riotous evening at a Chippendale’s performance. No one even thought to take pity on me, not even my wife or the referee. What to do?

What else could I do but join the play, and for the rest of the game, I skated with the red material of my hockey pants flapping in the breeze, my white underwear repeatedly flashing a signal that not all was right here. At least my ‘protective cup’ stayed put. In the third period, I was able to handle a long pass, which enabled me to attain a breakaway. Out-skating the pursuing and chuckling defensemen, I managed to deftly ‘deke out’ the goalie and score. I have always wondered if my unusual air conditioning, or distractive open hockey pants, had led to my success with that goal.

The entire episode is still fresh in my brain, though decades have now passed. I am certain that many former students of CCHS & CA have also experienced embarrassing moments (and not just in a sporting event). I hope that my revelation will encourage other members of the Alumni Connection to ‘come clean’ with theirs. Sharing sometimes helps with recovery.

Common Sense

Obit printed in the London Times

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

• Knowing when to come in out of the rain
• Why the early bird gets the worm
• Life isn't always fair
• And maybe it was my fault

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

He declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death,
by his parents Truth and Trust,
his wife Discretion,
his daughter Responsibility and his son Reason.

He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
, I Want It Now
, Someone Else Is To Blame
, I'm A Victim
and Pay me for Doing Nothing.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

School News

I went to the school on Friday the 22nd to have a chat with Principal Mervin Hunter and catch up on things. It was just after 12 noon when I arrived and students were leaving for lunch or whatever. I was surprised to see two teachers sitting opposite the office supervising the unlocking and collecting of Yondr pouches from exiting students. These are the pouches that students keep their phones in while on school premises. There is a special tool they use to unlock the pouch and retrieve their phones when they leave – you can see it on table sitting between two of the collection bags. When they enter in the morning or after lunch the phones are placed it a pouch and which is then locked.

The program has been a great success. Students are more attentive and engaged and teaches are less stressed not having to police the use of phones during class. St. Lambert International was the first school to adopt Yondr in Quebec but Westmount High has signed up and a few other schools are now testing it. You may have missed it by the Quebec Government recently announced they will be banning the use of phones in schools across the Province. Nice to see that our school is ahead of the curve.

That’s teacher Diane Bellingham on the right who initiated the Yondr program – I didn’t get the other teacher’s name.

The auditorium stage refurbishing project that the Alumni Association will be funding has still not yet started. The School Board needs to sign a contract with the company that provided the quote in May. Hard to understand the delay. The board knows the contractor who will be doing the work and were on site when the estimate was put together.

The “Reach” extension saga continues although it appears the Brixton Avenue residents have successfully blocked any addition to the school on the Brixton Avenue side which was the original plan. The school and school board had contended building on the Mortlake side of the school would damage a wetland, home to some Mallard ducks and other creatures. A government agency examined the area and concluded that while it truly was a wetland it was insignificant in size and no endangered species would be affected. The ducks will have to find a new home. This probably means the plans will have to be modified once more and of course there will be a further delay. I wonder if I’ll ever see this thing completed. Meanwhile the school board’s “Reach” program will continue using its existing facilities which includes 5 classrooms in our school.

Principal Hunter says they still have a staff shortage but he was able to get a new secretary who is working out well. Unfortunately on the day I visited she was away helping her daughter who had just given birth (grandma duties). To make things worse the other office staffer was also away as her daughter had just given birth. Mervin accused them of collusion.

On the good news front he now has a new Vice Principal to replace Steve Chan who transferred to Centennial last year. She works two days a week for St. Lambert International and three days for the Reach school, which is in the building and very convenient for both. Apparently she is a fast learner and a real go getter.

Chris Field

Dear friends and loved ones,



We gather to honor the memory of our dear Chris, whose beautiful life touched our hearts in countless ways. Please join us for a special commemoration on Tuesday, July 25th, at 6 PM.



During his time with us, Chris gifted us with timeless memories that made each moment special. We will come together at Mill Creek Park, Edmonton, to share and cherish these treasured memories. The ceremony will be led by his son, Adam, his daughter Sharon, his sister Deborah, and anyone else who would like to share their cherished moments.

In this somber gathering, we invite all who knew and loved Chris to find solace in each other's company and extend our support to his family during this difficult time.



Please help us spread the word to those who might want to pay their respects to our dear departed friend.



With warm regards,

Deborah Goldenberg, Adam and Sharon Field.

Uwe Embacher

With great sadness we announce the passing of Uwe Hans Embacher on Thursday, May 20, 2021 in Calgary, Alberta, at the age of 81.



Uwe was born in Gotha, Germany and, at the age of 10, immigrated to Canada with his family. He lived in Montreal, Quebec, Ottawa and Sturgeon Falls, Ontario and Cochrane, Alberta.



Uwe was an avid outdoorsman who loved climbing, skiing, ice boating and any activities involving the untouched wilderness. His unique work as an ice engineer brought him to Ellesmere and Baffin Islands where his love for adventure blossomed. It was here he made the first ascent of Barbeau Peak, the highest mountain east of the Rockies. He later began a teaching career, and for last 15 years, tutored math and science to a host of Cochrane students.



Uwe is survived by his wife, Janet Embacher; children, Monica Embacher (Ed), Louise Wenzlick (Steve); Kevin Embacher (Sarah), and Alina Couch (Andrew); grandchildren, Taylor, Kiaora, Russell, Melissa, Peter, Erik, Carl, Keanna, Cayley and Owen; his sisters Elke (Klaus), Uta (Heiko) and his brother, Dirk (Danielle)



Uwe was predeceased by his parents Kurt and Charlotte Embacher and his first wife Janet Hopps.

Claude Paquet

Jul 2, 1947 - Sep 6, 2023

Claude Joseph Jean Paquet passed away in his home surrounded by loving family and friends after a long battle with heart disease. He was born in Montreal to Jean-Baptiste and Germaine (Bercier) Paquet. He is survived by his wife Catherine (Ascah) and his children Isabelle (Josh), Denise and Alice, his grandchildren Alexander, Daphne, Diogo, Isa and Zayn, great-grandson Ayden, and his sister Louise (Leslie) Muirhead.

His eldest daughter Maureen passed away in his arms three years prior. Claude passionately devoted his life to his family and community, guided by the moral compass he developed during his youth at the Christian Service Brigade. In addition to being an esteemed science teacher he was a lifeguard, camp counselor, worship leader and church elder, touching countless lives.

He lived what he taught: critical thinking, honoring personal ethics, and providing love and safety as a husband and father. Claude was an avid swimmer, a constant reader, a handyman, an acoustic guitar player and a singer with a booming voice. We will miss his vast knowledge of theology and modern history and will hold on to the deep affection he had for all of us.

Diane Rattray Bisson

It is with great sadness that we share that Diane Lynne Rattray-Bisson, aged 75, died at Charles Lemoyne Hospital on September 5th, 2023, from a sudden heart attack.

Pre-deceased by her mother Mary Sanderson, and her father Arthur Rattray, Diane is survived by her daughter Sherri, grandchildren Ariel, Morgan and Jarad and her brother Bruce Rattray.

Born in Verdun, her family moved to their house on King Edward Street in Lemoyne where she and her brother grew up. She would often recount fond memories of her friends and neighbors from King Edward.

She worked as a cashier at the restaurant in Simpsons downtown Montreal (and used to tell us how she met the famous “Magic Tom” as he would stop by for lunch).

In 1973 she was hit by a car on her way home from work. This accident was to forever alter the course of her life.

Despite many physical challenges resulting from the accident, when she was able, she would always try to volunteer to help others, spending time with seniors at a nursing home and as a librarian at a local school for several years.

She had a lifetime love of reading and writing and took a correspondence course which she passed with distinction.

She was a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints for many years where she served in various roles such as a visiting teacher, the Relief Society and wrote a children’s column for the monthly newsletter until she was no longer physically able to attend.

The family welcomes you to remember Diane at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints at 811 Rue Campbell, Greenfield Park, QC J4V with a celebration of life on Saturday October 14th, 2023, beginning at 1:00pm. Light refreshments will be served after the service.

Lexophilia

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.



They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a typ-o.



I changed my iPod's name to Titanic.  It's syncing now.



Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.



I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on
me.



Why were the Indians here first?  They had reservations.



Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job
because she couldn't control her pupils?



When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.



Broken pencils are pointless.



What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?  A thesaurus.



I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.



I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.



Velcro - what a rip off!



Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last.

Grandma Was Happy

Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight.

When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills.

The son said, "I don't think you should take one Dad; they're very strong and very expensive."

"How much?" asked Grandpa.

"$10 a pill," answered the son.

"I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow."

Later the next morning, the son found $110 under the pillow. He called
Grandpa and said, "I told you each pill was $10, not $110."

"I know," said Grandpa. "The hundred is from Grandma."

Be Careful What You Ask For

After being married for 50 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, ‘Fifty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep with a hot 23-year-old girl every night.

Now, I have a $500,000 home, a $45,000 car, a nice big bed and a large screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 69-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things.’

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.

Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve an old guy's problems.”

Grandma Still Drives! Lord have Mercy

Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes:

Dear Grand-daughter,



The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker ..



I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting. So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.



Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed.



I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in
thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed.



It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't
honked, I'd never have noticed.



I found that lots of people love Jesus!



While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, 'For the love of God!' 'Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!'



What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!



Everyone started honking!



I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people.

I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!



There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach.



I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant.



He said it was a Hawaiian good luck sign.


Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back.



My grandson burst out laughing.



Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!



A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me.



I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed.



So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove on through the intersection.



I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection
before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared.



So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!



Love, Grandma

A Canadian cop is watching the bar after the last call

Recently, during a routine patrol, an RCMP patrolman parked down the street outside a Legion Hall just off the main Street in Dauphin, Manitoba.



After last call, the officer observed a man leaving the Legion Hall. The gentleman was so intoxicated that he could barely walk. He then stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing.



After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car, which he fell into. He sat there for a few minutes and then threw a hook and line out the window and seemed to be trying to catch a fish. A number of other patrons paid no attention to this crazy drunk as they left the bar and drove off.



Finally the drunk started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine, dry summer night) flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn, and switched on the headlights.



He then pulled in the hook and line and moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patron vehicles left.  At last, the parking lot was empty; he pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down the road.



The officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over. He performed a Breathalyzer test on the gentleman who cooperated fully, and to his amazement, the Breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed any alcohol at all!



Dumbfounded, the officer said, I will have to ask you to accompany me to Headquarters.  This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."



"I doubt it," said the truly proud Manitoban, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy