Well summer is over!  September ended with cold weather on September 30 and October 01 saw record rainfall. And I mean record with 75 millimeters recorded on the south shore.

We managed to get our final golf tournament in with temperatures around seven degrees at tee off time. The downpour on October 1st flooded the course and washed out any chance of playing the next day. I was able to get a few more games in and didn't put the clubs away until 25th after getting rained out on the 23rd - a warm, beautiful day but, unfortunately heavy rains (again) from the night before left the course unplayable - but the geese were happy. Do you detect the pattern here.

I'd like to say I slid seamlessly from golf into curling, but, that was not the case. After my first game on the ice I was sore for three days. The body needs a lot of time to adjust , however, after four games I had won three and lost one. For those of you who used to curl in Quebec, the Otterburn Curling Club was unable to open this year. Their ice making compressor broke at the end of last year and they don't have the funds to get it repaired.  Many of their members joined Bel-Air, the club located just two miles away. Otterburn, along with St. Lambert,  had been a charter member of the Richelieu Valley inter-club league. They will be replaced by Cowansville in the league. Sad to say but, this is a continuing saga with the state of curling in Quebec, declining participation and club closures.

We have included a section this month about the reunion which is being planned for May 2020. For many of us this will be our last hurrah. We are getting too old to handle the work (or may not be around in five years). Social media is also keeping people connected (if can you believe what you read there?) making reunions less attractive. I, for one, do not plan on getting involved in the organization of the next event, but, I’ll attend if someone can put it together. All that to say let’s make the 2020 reunion one to remember.

Thanks again to Jim Baxter and Jackie Pedneault for all the jokes, please keep them coming. I'm still looking for pictures and stories that would interest our readers - take a few minutes and send something along. It doesn't have to be extravagant, candid photos with a few sentences will do just fine. Harvey Carter

Life Member - C'60 - Editor, Alumni Connection

Welcome New and Renewing Alumni Association Members

Renewed Membership
Malcolm Myerson Class of 1968
From Ottawa, ON

Renewed Membership
Andrew Baugh Class of 1974
From Georgetown, ON

Expiring Memberships

Please renew now.

Memberships expiring in November
Watson Anderson
Peter Stewart
Memberships expiring in December
Joyce Bolton
Jon Davies

Thanks to Our Donors

Shirley Smith Class of 1970


Robert Wrigley - Class of 1961  Excerpts from his upcoming book 

Chasing Nature: An Ecologist's Lifetime of Adventures and Observations


Robert will be taking a brief hiatus but will be returning in December or January with more material involving his career and/or his St. Lambert experiences. Do you have something you can contribute? Don't be shy, we can use a wide variety of articles and pictures.

November Photo Gallery


The photo above shows Jane Lawrence, Class of 1976, after just missing a hole in one on the sixth hole. I was on my way to the second tee when I saw her ball land on the front of the green and roll by the cup, an inch to the right and stopping about one foot past. An easy birdie, but oh so close to a coveted hole in one. In the back ground is her frequent playing partner, who many of you know, Millie McGowan (Henry), Royal George Class of 1961.

After heavy rains in early October, the course was invaded by geese. The above picture shows about forty of them on the first fairway. Two weeks later a flock (or gaggle?) of approximately 100 showed up. Although beautiful, they are extremely dirty birds and the fairways were contaminated by thousands of goose droppings . Lift, clean and place took on a whole new meaning.

I found out a bit more about the new parking lot on the west side of the Curling Club and as I suspected the design was meant to appease the residence on Oak Avenue who face the lot. The concrete grid was seeded with grass (and a lot of weeds) so it has the appearance of a green space when no cars are using it. It will be closed during the summer months when the demand for space is low and opened October through April.

The surface slopes downward from the club to the road so that car headlights don’t shine directly into the windows across the street. The city also planted a row of evergreens that will hide the cars and help shield the headlights. It will be interesting to see how the surface stands up to plowing this winter.

The curling club ice surface was installed and ready for play by October 7 and looks great. Too bad the ice chairman slipped and broke his wrist just when he and his crew were finishing up. The cast is off and he was back at work by the end of the month. A new LED lighting system, which provides twice the illumination, was installed at a cost of almost $8,000. According to the project manager the system will pay for itself in four years through reduced electricity consumption – we shall see.

Test Your Memory

 Dave Erskine Class of 1963

The Exam Nightmare On Green Street - #2  How many were you able to answer last month?

1958 English Composition
Write a composition of two or three pages (350 to 500 words) on one of these topics. Write legibly and neatly.
(a) The Best Season In Canada
(b) The Conquest of Space
(c) Examinations - Before and After
(d) Politics and Parties at Ottawa
(e) The Call of the Sea
(f) On Buying a New Car
(g) A Survivor's Story
(h) International Understanding Through Sports
(i) A Tourist's Impression of Our Town.
(j) The Doctor's Office

1963 Biology
(a) What are the endocrine glands?
(b) How are the products of the endocrine glands carried to their destination?
(c) Name three endocrine glands and their products, and for each state the functions of this product, and the result of the absence of this product in the human body.

1961 French
Donner la forme voulue des verbes suivants.
(a) au present avec je: (1) prendre (2) venir (3) craindre
(b) a l'imparfait avec nous: (4) s'habiller (5) etudier
(c) au futur avec ells: (6) tenir (7) faire (8) cueillir
(d) au passe compose avec elle (9) choisir (10) devoir (11) etre (12) parler
(e) au present du subjonctif avec vous: (13) s'asseoir (14) tomber (15) payer

Bruce Charron's Story

Bruce Charron - Class of 1968 

Written by Bill Brownstein and published in the Montreal Gazette October 09.

Bruce Charron died in the most freakish of ski accidents last February, the day before he was to be honoured for helping to raise nearly $5 million for the Montreal Children’s Hospital. He never knew that he was about to receive an award. But now the hospital and his friends are making sure Charron gets his proper due.

On Oct. 20, a tribute for Charron will take place at the Tavern on the Square with proceeds going to the hospital. With his wife, Anne, in attendance, the Children’s Hospital Foundation will announce that a hospital room will be named for Charron. The hospital had already presented its Community Leadership and Volunteer Award of Excellence for Charron to his family.

Charron, 68, was a founder and bedrock of the Andy Collins for Kids Foundation, which, thanks in large part to his efforts, has raised the nearly $5 million for the hospital over the last 22 years. An expert skier, Charron died Feb. 10 at the Jay Peak Resort in Vermont after losing a ski and slamming into a tree. Ski patrollers performed CPR and put him in a rescue tobaggan on the slope, but by the time they got him to the centre’s infirmary, he had succumbed to his injuries.

The father of three girls and grandfather of two was the most unlikely of fundraisers. The Montreal West entrepreneur helped launch Andy Collins for Kids for his childhood friend, who died far too young at 46 in 1996. Andy Collins was a bon vivant non pareil. He made my late boulevardier colleague Nick Auf der Maur look like a choirboy by comparison. Yet Charron managed to conscript Collins’s many cronies, only slightly less rambunctious, to commemorate his death by launching an annual golf tournament to benefit the Children’s Hospital.

Few gave this “reprobate” group — as they were oft referred to — any chance of success or of sustaining the Collins charity and golf tournament. Initially, the Children’s Hospital had its doubts as well. Valerie Frost, the Montreal Children’s Hospital Foundation’s director of donor relations, concedes that Charron didn’t fit the typical fundraiser mould. “I had never been to a golf tournament quite like this … it was more dance party than golf,” marvels Frost. “That was our tip-off that Bruce and his gang were outside the standard fundraising box. Bruce’s idea was to put the ‘fun’ in fundraising, and that he did in spades.”

Dave Masterson, one of Charron’s closest friends and Andy Collins Foundation board member, acknowledges that Charron’s enthusiasm was infectious: “He mobilized a bunch of — then — young guys to do something good about something bad, the sudden death of Andy. We went off like fools, not knowing a thing about fundraising, but with Bruce’s leadership, we somehow got it together.” And once Charron’s buddies were in, they stayed put. “Many times I tried to get out,” Masterson says. “But as I told Bruce: ‘This was like being in a biker gang. Once you’re in, you never get out.’ Fortunately, Bruce made sure of that.”

The irony is that so many of those now involved with the Andy Collins for Kids annual golf event didn’t know Collins. “I would say that three-quarters of those who attended this year’s golf tournament never met Andy,” says Bruce’s brother, Peter Charron. “But they all knew Bruce. “Bruce and I talked together three or four times a week, and not being able to talk to him is such a challenge. He was such an inspiration, leading by example.”

Beyond the party camaraderie, Charron’s commitment to the hospital cause was steadfast and serious. “We would chat for hours about everything Bruce wanted to do,” Frost says. “He was forever coming up with innovative projects, and once he had a project in mind, he was just so tenacious to make it happen. It wasn’t just about raising money. It was about his engagement to the cause.” Some of the projects Charron was involved with were: On the Tip of the Toes, allowing young cancer patients to embark on wilderness adventures; music and art therapy for patients; the Dr. Clown service; and a head-trauma prevention program, which, Frost notes, was “Bruce’s passion project to keep kids out of the hospital.”

After his death, Frost was struck to learn how much Charron was doing for other community causes, from providing scholarships to needy students to his Concordia University alma mater to raising funds for the Montreal West Aquatics Club. “He also had a business to run and was such a family man, too. I just don’t know where he found the time for everything. “

"The tragedy is everyone but Bruce knew we were planning a celebration for him the day after he was killed,” Frost adds. “We were so excited to present him that honour, because we felt no one deserved it more. No matter what he did, he had an impact. That’s quite the legacy.”

A Cultural Moment

Natalie Beauchamp, Class of 1992 Life Member
and Former Director of the Alumni Association


Natalie is co-owner at le Balcon d’art and Multi Art Ltd, two companies that have been involved within the art community and the art market for the best part of the last five decades.  Le Balcon d’art, located at 650 Notre Dame Ave. in St. Lambert, was  founded by Bonnitta Beauchamp and  has been a reference in the Quebec art world since 1985.  It is now under the direction of Fay Beauchamp. (Class of 1997). Natalie thought many of our members would enjoy a change of pace and exposure to a cultural/artistic side of life. We have included two articles on the subject. Steve Pearson, the author, is a writer and communications specialist who has been in charge of communications at le Balcon d’Art and Multi Art Ltd since 2003.

 When Serge Brunoni arrived in Quebec, a career in the arts was the last of his concerns. Like most immigrants of his day, a new land meant new challenges, the unknown and a fresh start.

Of course, like many immigrants, this was not his first challenge. Born in France just before the Second World War, his early childhood was obviously marked by the uncertainties and privations inherent to the occupation of his country. This did not prevent little Serge from discovering a passion and a talent for drawing that he practiced furiously throughout his childhood. Like all the young French men of his time, Brunoni had to go through military service, a task he accomplished with pleasure seeing it as an adventure.

Following his service, he joined the Society of Works and Topographic Studies (S.A.T.E.T.), which worked on the construction of a railroad in Africa. He would spend three years living in the jungle, happy to indulge in his taste for adventure. To this day, he still regales everyone who would listen with anecdotes on the subject!

He arrived in Quebec in 1963 and, following the advice of local people, chose Trois-Rivières as his home port. In the years that followed, Brunoni worked in different jobs ranging from cook to encyclopedia salesman.

It is in 1969 that his wife offers him a box of colors and brushes and that he discovers what will become his passion; his reason for living. He became a professional painter from 1972.

Brunoni draws his influences from several sources. A scholar of art and philosophy, he uses his knowledge and his thirst for new ideas to reach creative summits that have been constantly renewed for fifty years now!

For the casual spectator, it may looks like the artist is sticking to some older artistic conventions and principles. That would be grossly misunderstanding the work of a painter for whom the poetry of his adopted country is constantly reborn in artistic explorations that owe as much to American impressionism as to expressionist painters such as Kandinsky or Alwar Cawén.

His vision of Quebec’s great outdoors may be reminiscent of René Richard, but the economy of means he is able to demonstrate brings him closer to Elaine de Kooning or even minimalist painters, taking a page from Ludwig Mies van der Rohe’s “less is more” philosophy… In fact, with Brunoni, the immediacy of the gesture betrays poetry while retaining the essential of a well thought out artistic approach. The apparent free form of Brunoni’s painting is firmly anchored in a cerebral understanding art into an apparently playful and almost automatic approach.

His interpretation of the city betrays the love / hate relationship he maintains with major cities. The busy tangle of actors in the moments he stages, the complex and sometimes almost anarchic compositions that populate the immense paintings he favors and the apparent casualness that transpires from Brunoni’s urban work bring the viewer to an almost claustrophobic pictorial universe that reveal the artist’s need for wide open spaces.

For those who have the pleasure and the honor of knowing Serge Brunoni, he is an inspiration and a source of questions ever renewed. Generous by nature, he never hesitates to share his latest discoveries, readings and reflections on literally ALL topics!

Unfortunately, a declining health and the fact that he has now reached the age of eighty have made this prolific artist slow down his artistic production. In 2019, however, he continues to amaze by the youth of his brushes and the vivacity of his soul. History will surely tell us, but a retrospective view of Brunoni’s work easily suggests that he will be one of the few artists to have marked Quebec’s art history and his work will remain in the annals of art long after he is gone. Steve Pearson

Reunion News
Alumni Association 2020 Reunion

Friday, May 15 & Saturday, May 16
(Sunday the 17th is get away day with no official events planned)


  1. Friday morning golf at St. Lambert Golf Club
    2. Registration at the High School Friday, 5:00 PM to 9:00 PM
    3. Meet, Greet & Eat, 7:00 PM to 1:00 AM with Bar Service, Finger Food with reminiscing, reconnecting and sharing your stories.
    4. Saturday morning walking tour – see the old St. Lambert you remembered and some of the very new sights.
    5. Saturday 1:00 PM - Variety Show with Bar Service and free snacks.
    6. Saturday 6:00 PM - Dinner at the High School
    7. Saturday 9:00 PM - Dance
    8. No ecumenical service at the School but local churches will be happy to see you.
    9. Breakfast/Brunch at Kapetan’s – you are on your own - say your good byes.

Ticket Sales

Passport Tickets go on sale December 1st, 2019 with a la carte purchases available on January 1, 2020.


Member Passports

Advanced Member Passport - $100 - Offer expires Dec. 31
Advanced Member Passport with golf - $140 - Offer expires Dec. 31

Member Passport - $105 - Price after Dec. 31
Member Passport with golf - $145 - Price after Dec. 31

Non-Member Passports

Passport - $110 on sale Dec. 1
Passport with golf - $150 on sale Dec. 1

Events – a la carte

Meet, Greet & Eat - includes registration - $35 on sale Dec. 1
Variety show with snacks - $20 on sale Dec. 1
Saturday Dinner - $45 on sale Dec. 1
Saturday Dance - $15 on sale Dec. 1
Friday morning golf - $40 on sale Dec. 1

Some things you should know:

Space for golf is very limited and reservations will be on a first come first served basis

We are aiming for attendance of 500 however, to make the Reunion work, we need at least 350 people to show up. If we don’t hit this critical mass by April 1st and it seems unlikely we will reach that number, we reserve the right to cancel the event. If that happens your money will be refunded.

We try to ensure that the reunion is a money making event. The small profit we generate is used to fund our school bursary program, special projects at the school, maintenance of the web site and production of the newsletter. If you can’t come to the reunion you can always make a donation to the Association – any amount would be greatly appreciated.

The Saturday afternoon Variety Show will be looking for and signing up acts. If you would like to participate and have any talent, be it musical, standup comedy, dance, juggle or whatever you can contact Bernie Praw at: berniewarp@gmail.com

We will also be looking for volunteers to help during the two weeks immediately prior to and during the Reunion weekend. If you can lend a hand contact Harvey Carter at:
Phone: (450) 923-8045 or email: harveycarter363@gmail.com

The web site will be updated so that on December 1, Online payment will be available to process your purchases. You may pay by PayPal or Credit Card. Of course, if you prefer, a regular cheque can be used. Mailing instructions will be on the web site.

Class Contacts Needed

If you are interested in representing your class year as Class Contact. Please contact Harvey Carter


Christine Gunn (MacIver) - Class of 1974
Life  member and Director of the Alumni Association
October 19, 1956 September 18, 2019

Christine Margaret Gunn-Ewing, age 62, passed away on Wednesday, September 18, 2019. She was born on October 19, 1956, in Montreal, Canada, to Donald John Campbell and Kathleen Shirley (Brown) MacIver. She is preceded in death by her father; and her brother, Fraser MacIver. She is survived by her loving husband, Michael Ewing, Sr.; her mother, Kathleen MacIver; her brothers, Don MacIver, Colin MacIver and wife Myriam, Graham MacIver and wife Dominique, and Ian MacIver; her step-daughter, Nikki Anderson and husband Adam; her step-grandson, Luke Green; and several nieces and nephews. Arrangements for a celebration of life service are forthcoming. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the Fayetteville Animal Services at www.fayetteville-ar.gov/525/Animal-Services or the Humane Society of the Ozarks at hsozarks.org/ To send flowers or a memorial gift to the family of Christine Margaret Gunn-Ewing please visit our Sympathy Store.

Tom Rodden  - Class of 1973
November 4, 1955 -  September 6, 2019

It is with great sadness that we announce the passing of Tom Rodden of Cambridge, Ontario on September 6, 2019 after a long illness. Tom leaves behind to grieve his son Tim, his sister Janice and his father Tom of St. Lambert, Quebec. Also left to grieve are many nieces, nephews and very good long-time friends. Tom's funeral service was conducted by the Reverend Brian Perron (a high school friend) at the Church of St. Barnabas, 95 Lorne Avenue, St. Lambert, Quebec on Saturday, October 5, 2019..

Jack Hobbs -  Class of 1959

John (Jack) William Hobbs, age 76, of Lanark Highlands, Ontario, passed away peacefully, surrounded by close friends and family on July 23, 2019, at the Queensway Carleton Hospital in Ottawa, Ontario. Jack was an adventurous and spirit-driven soul who lived life to the fullest. He loved spending his time outdoors surrounded by nature at his lake, with his greatest love being his family. Jack was born to the late Elsie and John Hobbs on October 10, 1942 in Montreal, Quebec. Jack is the beloved husband of Dorothy (nee Smith) Hobbs married 53 years and loving father to Sharon Hobbs (Chet) of Ottawa and John Hobbs (Karen) of Ottawa. Jack is cherished by five grandchildren, Noah, Kai, Siobhan, Nicholas and Rowan. Jack is survived by his sister, Kathryn Berry and brother in-law Brian Berry of Saint-Lambert, Quebec and sister in-law Jennifer Harrison and brother in-law Robin Harrison of Comox, BC and his niece Kendra (Vahak) and nephews Darren (Rosanna), Andy, Doug (Shauna) and their families. Jack attended both Concordia and McGill Universities, receiving his Theology BA and his Masters of Divinity degree from McGill in 1966. He served for 32 years as a minister of the United Church of Canada until his retirement in 1998. As a beloved preacher, Jack is remembered for his inspirational and provocative sermons with the many congregations he led across Canada. Upon retirement, Jack used his communication skills and compassion for people to build better teams in the workplace. In his life long journey helping others he continued to officiate weddings and funerals while enjoying nature, his friends and the beauty of Patterson Lake. The family greatly appreciates the skill and kindness of the staff at the Ottawa Hospital and the Queensway Carleton Hospital, who showed Jack and family great care and compassion.

Thomas Billard - Class of 1972

It is with profound sadness that we announce the passing of the Rev. Dr. Thomas Caldwell Billard. Beloved husband of 38 years to Laura, father to James and Katie (Chris), and grandfather to Zoe. He died at home in Mississauga in the early hours of September 6th, 2019, in his 65th year, after a two year struggle with cholangiocarcinoma. He will be dearly missed by his sisters Christine, Esther, Tracy and their families, sister-in-law Kathy and father-in-law Jack. He will also be missed by his cherished aunts, uncles, cousins and his North Bramalea Presbyterian Church family. We would like to thank everyone who supported us through this journey with their prayers, support, and encouragement, and the many healthcare professionals who cared for Tom. The Rev. Dr. Tom Billard, the recent former convenor of the Life and Mission Agency, had been diagnosed with cancer some time ago. In spite of his poor health and the many treatments he had to have to mitigate the effects of the cancer, Tom continued in his role as convenor of the Life and Mission Agency and member of the Assembly Council until this spring. Tom loved being a congregational minister and was active in ministry in pastoral care and the pulpit ministry until last month. Tom’s support of the work of the church at all levels was remarkable. He was passionate about congregational ministry, very committed to the work of healing and reconciliation and the ministry of and with Indigenous peoples in Canada and he was encouraged by what he saw and experienced when he traveled to Malawi to see the work of the church there. In all of these areas and places, Tom always saw great hope, was touched by the movement of the Spirit and was enthusiastic about the transformation that comes from committed people of faith working together.


MACINTYRE, Rebecca  - Teacher
June 6 1925 - July 13, 2019.

Rebecca passed away in hospital of complications around hip surgery. Married to Robert M. Browne (1923-2014) for almost 40 years. Survived by sisters Anne and Catherine, stepchildren Thomas, Kate and Michael. Rebecca was born in Bristol, New Brunswick. She was a school teacher in that province when she moved to Quebec where she taught at St. Lambert Elementary, Royal George and Centennial High Schools, all on the south shore of Montreal. While in Quebec she spent summers studying at the Boston Conservatory of Music, from whom she obtained a teaching diploma. She met Robert M. Browne in 1970 and they were married in 1975. She enjoyed sewing and painting, and had a keen interest in the arts.

Catherine Elizabeth Weeks (Glen) Class of 1957
We announce with sadness the passing of Catherine Elizabeth Weeks (née Glen) in her 80th year at the Sunrise of Thornhill Residence (Ontario) on September 26, 2019. Catherine will be dearly missed by her son David of Montreal. She was predeceased by husband Robert (June 2019) and younger son Alan in 1991.
Catherine was born in Montreal in 1940 and grew up in St. Lambert on the city's south shore where she attended Chambly County High School, graduating in 1957. She continued her studies at McGill University, earning her BA in 1961. She completed her education with a graduate's degree in Library Science in 1963, also at McGill.
She met future husband Robert, who had emigrated from Bristol, England a few years' prior, on a blind date. Immediately after marrying in 1964, they moved to Kingston, Ontario, where Robert worked as an engineer at DuPont. A year later they moved to Toronto, where they lived for the remainder of their 55 years together.
Catherine held librarian positions in various companies, commencing with Sun Life in Montreal, and followed by others while bringing up her two sons in Toronto. She had many interests, was very sociable and was a close friend to many throughout her life, including some friendships dating as far back as grade one. She had been an avid bridge player, and later in life took up golf, which she really enjoyed as a member of the Toronto Women's Golf Club. Along with the rest of the family, she was for many years an active member, especially in the pool, at the North York YMCA. She also spent many hours volunteering with the CNIB. Another of her interests was graphology, and she became a registered graphologist, diligently following the challenging coursework to successful completion.
She also enjoyed travelling and the family had many memorable summer trips to Cape Cod, and she and Robert also took numerous winter trips to various Caribbean islands to escape the winter for a few weeks' time.
Catherine and Robert enjoyed their last couple of years as residents of Canterbury Place Retirement Residence in North York, where they made many friends with both fellow residents and staff alike, and where she served as vice president of the residents' council.
We would like to thank the compassionate and professional care provided by the staff at North York General Hospital, and also at Sunrise of Thornhill Retirement Residence. A celebration of life service and reception has taken place. Donations in Catherine's memory may be made to a charity of one's choice.

Terry Kurtz - Class of 1963

It is with great sadness that we announce the passing of Terry Kurtz, peacefully and surrounded by family, on Monday, October 21, 2019. Terry will be lovingly remembered and greatly missed by his wife Margaret, daughters Jennifer (Sylvain) and Sara (Kevin), and cherished Grandpa of Brandon, Ryan, Noah, Damon, and Caleb. Predeceased by his parents Marcie and Jack, and brother Kim (Liz), he leaves to mourn his sister Karen, brother David (Monica), nieces Melanie, Stephanie, Syreena, Kelly-Anne, Jessie, and Kaylee, cousins, aunts and uncles. Terry lived with kindness and love and touched all those who knew him.

And Finally...

Snooty Golf Club in Scotland

An elderly Scottish Jew decided to retire and take up golf, so he applied for membership at a local golf club. About a week later he received a letter that his application has been rejected. He went to the club to inquire as to why.

Secretary: You are aware that this is a Scottish golf club?
Scot: Aye, but I am as Scottish as you are, ma'am, my name is MacTavish.
Secretary: Do you know that on formal occasions we wear a kilt?
Scot: Aye, I do know, and I wear a kilt too.
Secretary: You are also aware, that we wear nothing under the kilt?
Scot: Aye, and neither do I.
Secretary: Are you also aware, that the members sit naked in the steam room?
Scot: Aye, I also do the same.
Secretary: But you are a Jew?
Scot: Aye, I be that.
Secretary: So, being Jewish, you are circumcised, is that correct?
Scot: Aye, I be that, too.
Secretary: I am terribly sorry, but the members just would not feel comfortable sitting in the steam room with you, since your privates are different from theirs..
Scot: Aye, away with ya, ma'am. I know that you have to be a Protestant to march with the Orange men. And I know that you have to be a Catholic to join the Knights of Columbus. But this is the first time I've heard that you have to be a complete prick to join a golf club.

Jeff Foxworthy on Canadians

Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Canadians, during a recent appearance at Caesars in Windsor :
If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, You may live in Canada .
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, You may live in Canada .
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, You may live in Canada .
If 'Vacation' means going anywhere South of Kelowna for the weekend, You may live in Canada .
If you measure distance in hours. You may live in Canada .
If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, You may live in Canada .
If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again, You may live in Canada .
If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, You may live in Canada .
If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, You may live in Canada .
If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, You may live in Canada .
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, You may live in Canada .
If the speed limit on the highway is 80 km and you're going 95 and everybody is passing you, You may live in Canada .
If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, You may live in Canada .
If you know all 4 seasons: Almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, You may live in Canada .
If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, You may live in Canada .
If you find -2 degrees 'a little chilly', You may live in Canada .
If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your friends, You definitely are Canadian and proud to be!  

Another Crafty Lawyer

A lawyer, who had a wife and 12 children needed to move because his rental agreement was terminated by the owner, who wanted to reoccupy the home. But he was having a lot of difficulty finding a new house.
When he said, he had 12 children, no one would rent a home to him because they felt that the children would destroy the place. He couldn't say he had no children, because he couldn't lie. So, he sent his wife for a walk to the cemetery with 11 of their kids.
He took the remaining one with him to see rental homes with the real estate agent….. He loved one of the homes, and the price was right.
The agent asked: "How many children do you have?” He answered: "Twelve."
The agent asked, "Where are the others?" The lawyer, with his best courtroom very sad look, answered, “They're in the cemetery with their mother."         .