April 3 & 4 - Major storm 30 plus cm of heavy, wet, sticky snow in Montreal with over 1,100 separate power outages affecting more than one million people. Some of them were simple, easy to fix circuit breakers being tripped by snow laden branches contacting hydro lines, others more serious where falling trees took down lines and poles. Luckily I was spared except for a cedar tree which broke off just above ground level. Here is a picture of the tree from across the street. Its branches have been bent over and are actually touching the road.

April Snowstorm

I looked back at my photos from December 4th and this shot is almost identical. -- Side note: I had my summer tires installed on April 2 so left my car in the driveway on the 4th hoping warming temperatures would clear things up

April 8 - It’s eclipse day bright sunny skies with some high wispy clouds that didn’t deter from the spectacle. It took a little over an hour to fully cover the sun I checked about every ten minutes or so to gauge the progress – kind of boring but after all the hype I better see it through to the very end. Where we live the totality lasted about 90 seconds and was well worth the wait. When I took off the special glasses the corona was beautiful, awe inspiring and yes a once in a lifetime experience. There will never be another in our lifetime.

April 11 - I keep telling myself you should stop doing this, but of course I don’t. I bottled a new batch of beer today called cascade blond ale. A lot more hoppy than regular beer but bot quite up to IPA standards. There are two reasons I keep telling myself to stop. First is economic, if I put a reasonable price on my labor and include the cost of the ingredients it is costing me about $12-$15 a bottle. Second is the wear and tear on my back which happens during the bottle sterilization phase. I am literally sore for the rest of the day. But then again what else am I going to do with my time.

April 14 - It was my daughter’s birthday. I asked her what she wanted for dinner which would be held at our house. I think she felt sorry for me and didn’t want to cause a lot of work so she said honestly I haven’t had Miss Italia for a long time so why don't we order out. We will bring a salad. It was fine with me as I hadn’t indulged for over a year. So, I ordered two large all dressed, two lasagna’s, a small pepperoni/bacon and a bambino Hawaiian. More than enough for eight people. My daughter took some of the leftovers home and I kept enough for two lunches. Miss Italia's distinctive taste seems to remain constant after all these years

April 22 - Woke up this morning to freezing temperatures with ice on the back deck - and golf is supposed to start in a few days. Looks like it will be another week until I get out on the course.

April 24 - Rob Ellicott and I had a 9:00 AM tee time booked for what have been our first game of the year. I woke at 6:00 AM to rain, strong winds and a temperature of 10C – so much for golf. By 11:00 AM temperatures had dropped to 1C and it was snowing. What the heck is going on? Guess I’ll go work on my taxes.

Thanks to all who contributed this month, Bob Wrigley, Rod Brown, Jim Baxter, Carol Storen, Susan Collins, Wendie Kirkwood, other jokesters and last, but least, to Fred Hore for his great article and fantastic photos of the the April 8th eclipse.
Please send us a story we can share with our readers it will only take a few minutes of your time.

Until next month stay safe.


Stay Strong Ukraine

Kudos to speaker Mike Johnson for getting the aid package through the US congress. It will probably cost him his job but he did the right thing.

Harvey Carter

Life Member - C'60 - Editor, Alumni Connection

Welcome New and Renewing Alumni Association Members

New Life Member
Andrea Kanngiesser (Eley)
Class of 1990
St. Lambert, QC
Renewing Member
Mike Latremouile
Class of 1976
Greenfield Park, QC
Renewing Member
Gus Jones
Class of 1964
Hermitage, NL
Renewing Member
Peter Grayton

Class of 1974
Brossard, QC
Renewing Member
Donald Brown
Class of 1976
Mississauga, ON
Renewing Member
Steve Sharp

Class of 1973
Vankleek Hill, ON
Renewing Member
Tom McNeilly
Class of 1960
Lethbridge, AB


CCHS 2025 Reunion

Friday May 16, Saturday May 17 & Sunday May 18,  2025 You asked for it and here it is!

I'm going again. Are You?

We've received a lot of great feedback from Reunion 2023, and we listened…

Friday Meet & Greet,
Saturday Golf, Pickleball,
Variety Show & Dinner,
and Sunday events and more!

We are still in the planning stage, so we are looking for your ideas.
Do you have some input and suggestions? Would you like to volunteer some help?

2023 Reunion Group Shot


Welcome to the latest installment of The Memory Corner. The title alludes to the corners of our minds where memories, especially of high school, live.

There are very few ‘rules’ about submissions – somewhere in the 400 – 800 word range, good taste and nothing ‘angry’. I will edit submissions (if asked) and advise the writers when their piece will appear in the newsletter. Harvey, although the final Editor, is not doing the work … I hope my inbox overflows.

If you have a story idea for The Memory Corner, please contact me at rodscchs@gmail.com

Rod Brown

Class of 1966

Rodney BrownRod Brown
Class of 1966

The Day Kennedy Died

by Rod Brown

Every generation remembers where he/she was when some huge event, public or private, burned into our consciousness … the birth of a child or, at the other end, the loss of a loved one, John Lennon or the end of a war, Princess Diana or a 1972 hockey game. The list is so personal and equally endless especially if family events are included; but for me, there are three public events which I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing. The moon landing, September 11th and the assassination of John Kennedy.

November 22, 1963, was a pleasant day in St Lambert and I’m sure the leaves were turning as the reds and oranges dominated the landscape. But that was a little interest to me or my buddy John Martin – we had figured out how to skip afternoon classes and not get caught … to such lofty endeavours we routinely applied ourselves. Just think what we might have accomplished if we had used our powers for good instead of evil.

Our plan was simple – cut class, play some pool at St Lambert Pool Hall, get a coke at Lapalma and return to CCHS in time to sign out. In the minds of a pair of 15-year-olds, what could possibly go wrong??? (Little wonder there are no teenage master criminals.)

The pool hall was on Victoria Avenue (moved later to Green St) and a narrow set of stairs ended in a low ceiled room housing 6 or 8 pool tables over which hung rectangular lights. The walls were dark from age and smoke (what could be cooler than playing pool and smoking???) and the desperate angst of Minnesota Fats ‘wannabes’. We were charged by the minute to ‘shoot pool’ – 5 cents maybe – and the loser paid. Neither John nor I could afford ‘serious’ gambling and our skill level precluded challenging anyone, and I mean anyone, to a game.

And so, we wasted an hour or so re-enacting scenes from The Hustler, minus the thumb breaking and crisp $100 bills and then we headed off for a cold drink at Lapalma… life was good. As we descended the stairs and into the sunlight, undoubtedly the good St Lambert matrons strolling along Victoria after visiting Taylor’s looked at us with distain and muttering condemnations of permissive parents, rock ‘n roll, a lax school system and a belief that, “A couple of years in the Army would fix those boys!”

A few steps along, we hear some people talking, “Heard the news?”

“What news?”

“Kennedy was just shot in Dallas.”

Even John and I realized that this was significant, so we hustled back to school anxious to hear the details. CCHS students and teachers were gathered around the few televisions that constituted the entire media equipment for 800 students. We watched, mouths agape and spellbound as real life mimicked the fantasies of movies and TV.

When the official school day ended, I wandered home to watch more of Oswald, Johnston and Jackie O recognizing that something more significant than a murder was happening before our eyes. I couldn’t tell you then (or now, for that matter) the consequences of that Dallas shooting but everyone felt something important was lost.

I never told my parents about the pool hall – when asked where I heard the news I lied and muttered, “School announcement.” Or some such nonsense. I confessed my crime to my mother 35 years later and she didn’t seem all that surprised… curious.

A million words have been written about November 1963 and the death of John Kennedy. Conspiracy theories abound, new villains appear and then disappear on a regular basis. “The Day the Music Died” was written about Buddy Holly but perhaps it’s more appropriate for Camelot and a young president. We didn’t know it but more than just a man died that day – “Sorry Virginia. Santa is fake and no one cares if you’re naughty or nice.”

John Fitzgerald Kennedy – 1918 – 1963

.Where was I when I heard about Kennedy? I remember exactly - riding down Kitchener Ontario’s King Street in an electric bus returning to my boarding house after classes had finished at University of Waterloo. I was shell shocked and watched my landlady’s old black and white TV, spellbound for hours, as events unfolded. It is hard to imagine the devastating effect Kennedy’s assignation had on the United States and the rest of the world. And the conspiracy theories continue to this day as so many don’t believe Oswald was acting alone.

Like Rod I wasted away many hours in the old pool room. I wasn’t the best player around but on some days I could hold my own. Looking back I would say Fred Ward (C59) was best in our group and as I recall he won the McGill snooker championship in his freshman year.

The owner at that time was named Armand (can’t remember his last name) and he had a helper, an old curmudgeon named Sid Joy, who looked after things when Armand wasn’t around. You could get a steamed hot dog with mustard, relish and onions along with a soft drink for 25 cents. In addition to snooker and billiards you could learn a lot of colourful “vernacular”, in both languages. French swearing was more religious based while English cursing touched on everything, sex, religion, bodily functions, whatever. Our vocabularies were greatly enhanced even if it wasn’t in a good way.

When Taylor’s expanded and didn’t renew leases of tenants in the building, the pool room moved up Victoria and across Sir Wilfred Laurier to Ville Lemoyne. Its current location is Green Street, occupying the old bowling alley. It is now called "La Bande au Coin" and features a full service restaurant and bar. The owner is Annabel Chabot, a very nice lady who formerly ran the restaurant concession at the St. Lambert Golf Club.

Rod also mentions Lapalma which was originally called the Soda Bar before it was purchased by Rick Lepine and renamed. Quite a popular after school hangout during the week and on Friday, Saturday nights when nothing else was going on. Lepine hired a new chef and started selling pizza. The chef eventually struck out on his own and opened up Miss Italia, which of course is still going strong today.

Rod will be taking a sabbatical for a few months recharging his batteries, getting in some golf and hopefully editing stories readers send to him. Please help keep the Memory Corner going, send him some of your recollections of school life

Harvey Carter

Life Member - C'60 - Editor, Alumni Connection


Susan Collins
Class of 1964

Jesse Cockerline Remembered

I imagine that there are still quite a few CCHS alumni who will remember Jessie Cockerline, a feisty, diminutive woman who ruled her Grade 8 classes with a firm hand in a velvet glove. A few years ago, before her death, my stepmother, Jean Patterson Collins, told me a lovely story about Jessie.

Jean had been born, in 1921, with a visual impairment known as achromatopsia, a condition that features total colour blindness: a palette of say, 50 shades of grey, but which also includes a significant decrease in visual acuity (20/200) and severe light sensitivity (photophobia). As she grew older, it was clear to her parents that something was wrong with Jean’s vision. Her mother took her to a series of doctors and she was finally diagnosed. Achromatopsia is a relatively rare  hereditary disorder (approximately 1 in 40,000 in North America). Little was known about this condition in the 20’s and by the time Jean was diagnosed, she had missed starting school with others her age by one year. 

When she did start school, it was hard for her to see words on the blackboard. In those days, exam/test questions were often written there. Jean would have to leave her seat, walk up to the blackboard and write down the questions to take back to her desk. This went on for a few years until Jean entered Jessie’s class. I’m not sure what grade she was teaching at that time, maybe Grade 6 or 7. We can’t really know what motivated her, but Jessie Cockerline decided that there was a better way to address Jean’s problem. So, instead of requiring Jean to walk up to the blackboard, in front of the whole class, Jessie wrote out the questions on a card for Jean so that she didn’t have to leave her desk. Jessie also told the class that these written questions provided no answers and did not give Jean any advantage.

I’m sure there are folks who had Jessie Cockerline as a teacher might have less than fond of memories of her; she wasn’t easy. But for Jean, a kid with an issue, Jessie demonstrated the inherent compassion and understanding that so many teachers have in their DNA.

Reunion In Cabo Wendie & Dave Elliot

Wendie Kirkwood Elliott writes, recently Laurie Storen (67)  joined Dave and me in San Jose del Cabo. Susan Kirkwood was here at the same time.  A good time had by all.

How We Looked Then

Susan Kirkwood (65)
Laurie Storen (67)
Wendie KirkwoodWendie Kirkwood Elliott (67)
David Elliott (66)
Bob Wrigley
Class of 1961

Woodchuck Retreat

Southern Quebec is home to a large population of woodchucks, as demonstrated sadly by the numerous individuals killed along highways. In fact, one of the most-upsetting observations for me as a young naturalist was watching a mother Woodchuck attempting to rouse one of its dead offspring from the highway.  She ran out repeatedly, between intervals of on-coming cars, nudging the little body with her nose. Fortunately she finally retreated to join the remainder of her waiting family without herself being run over. It was a clear demonstration of the strong maternal instinct in rodents. On several occasions, I found it fascinating to watch a mother woodchuck guiding her brood for a tour of her home range. She ran ahead and stopped, then each youngster did the same, one at a time, until they were all lined up for the next sequence. I thought travelling in this stealthy way, as opposed to running all together, perhaps reduced the probability of being detected by a predator, on the ground or in the sky.

I learned another lesson from a big woodchuck, this time about rodent territoriality, at my cottage at South Bolton in southern Quebec. A solitary male had taken up residence in a rock pile along the edge of the field where I passed by on the way to check my small-mammal research site. Each sunny morning, there he was, sitting proudly atop his castle, inspecting my every move. when I approached too closely, he emitted a loud quivering whistle and dropped down one of his several escape tunnels. No fox or dog could reach him there, for the boulders were packed tightly together with soil and plant roots. I suspected he was just one of a long line of inhabitants that had found this home ideal, beside a field filled with a variety of plant foods at their doorstep. One day, while I was sitting quietly and observing him feed, he amazed me by climbing up into the lower branches of a nearby tree to nibble on some leaves. I had always thought this stout species with short legs was strictly a ground dweller.

Accompanied by my collie Heidi, I began to play a game with the woodchuck, seeing how closely we could approach before he retreated below ground. Each day the woodchuck became a little bolder. I purposely made no eye contact and walked on a zig-zag course toward him, hoping such behaviour would make the animal feel he was undetected. Then one afternoon, when Heidi and I were within 3 metres, I saw that part of the skin on the side of his face was missing (likely a close call with a hawk), exposing his impressively large incisors. With my next step, a totally unanticipated thing happened. Instead of initiating his usual disappearing act, the big rodent suddenly charged us with flattened body, snuffling really loudly, and chattering his teeth. Caught entirely by surprise, and with the aggressive creature fast approaching my ankles, I instinctively jumped back and ran away, with Heidi close on my heels. We covered half way across the field before the attacker desisted and ran back home. Breathing heavily, and with racing heart, I looked around, hoping that no one had witnessed a grown man and his large dog running away from a rodent. His ‘fight or flight’ instinct sure served him well that day.  

Aggressive WoodchuckRobert and Heidi wisely retreating from an unusually aggressive woodchuck. (Rob Gillespie)

Copies may be obtained by contacting:
Dr. Robert Wrigley
505 Boreham Blvd,
Winnipeg, Manitoba
R3P 0K2

I told Bob I used to have a woodchuck (marmot in Quebec) living under my deck but hadn’t seen it for a couple of years. Well about a week later I looked out the back door leading from the kitchen to the deck and spotted a head sticking up from what must have been a burrow dug out under the deck near the ghost tree I couldn’t get close but took these pictures through the glass. I think it must have moved on to greener pastures because I haven’t seen it for over a week. My motto is live and let live, if you don’t bother me I won’t bother you. Thankfully I have never encountered a charging woodchuck - it would probably catch up and bite me on the ankle.

Checking things out

Catching some rays

Harvey Carter

Life Member - C'60 - Editor, Alumni Connection


The Mystical and Magical Solar Eclipse

By Frederic Hore
Images and text ©Frederic Hore 2024. All Rights Reserved

It was mystical, magical and spectacular!

Solar Eclipse Copyright Frederic Hore 2024 All Rights Reserved
Hundreds of people gathered at Canada’s Stonehenge - the Circle of Stones, a remarkable spiritual setting to celebrate the Solar Eclipse on April 8, 2024 at Stanstead, Quebec.

Located a few hundred meters north of the 45th parallel that equally divides the North Pole and the Equator along the Canada-United States border - musicians, singers, Metis artists, local townspeople and visitors sang and danced in celebration as the moon slowly covered the sun in Totality.

Copyright Frederic Hore 2024 All Rights Reserved
Solar Eclipse Copyright Frederic Hore 2024 All Rights Reserved
Banners and windsocks decorated the site, including a gigantic red flag with a yellow circle called the Solstice Flag, for the sun theme of the day. Smoke swirled in the air from several blazing wood fire pits that surrounded the site, adding to the mystical feeling.

Inspired by England's famous Stonehenge and similar stone formations found in Wales and Scotland, Stanstead's unique Circle of Stones was created in 2009. Quarried from a nearby mine, some of the granite boulders weigh more than 35 tons!

Solar Eclipse Copyright Frederic Hore 2024 All Rights Reserved
Solar Eclipse Copyright Frederic Hore 2024 All Rights Reserved
Solar Eclipse Copyright Frederic Hore 2024 All Rights Reserved
Progressively, the moon slowly slid over and obscured Old Sol, creating a thin crescent sun. Then suddenly… it was gone! The temperatures plummeted as the warm Spring air turned very chilly. Under the cobalt blue skies and twilight of Totality, revellers and visitors alike hooted and cried out in joy. Below the darkened sun, which resembled a glowing donut, the planet Venus, named for the Greek Goddess of Love, shimmered in the heavens. With the sun now fully covered, the glowing white solar prominences and tendrils of hot plasma gas became visible, emanating from the sun.
Solar Eclipse Copyright Frederic Hore 2024 All Rights Reserved
In a grand finale, a burst of bright white light blasted out, resembling a sparkling diamond on a ring, as the sun emerged from full Totality. The crowd exploded in cheers and awe! In the cold clear air, the sun gracefully bared its face, revealing a small red sunspot on its glowing surface.

As sunlight returned, the crowd mingled revelling in the solar eclipse they had just witnessed, a unique memory to be cherished forever.

More Photos of the Eclipse from the Class of '73

Our alumni are spread far and wide. Here are a few shots from the class of '73 from various locations along the path of totality. Do you have a memory or photo from the day that you would like to share? Let us know.

Central Texas

by Dave Christie
Class of 1973

Central Texas teased viewers with clearing skies in the morning, only to cloud over for totality, snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. But I did manage a few decent shots through cracks in the heavy lower clouds, filtered through thin upper clouds.
Solar Eclipse by Dave Christie
Solar Eclipse by Dave Christie
Solar Eclipse by Dave Christie

St, Catherines, Ontario

by Carol Petley McColl
Class of 1973

Even in heavy cloud cover we got to experience a bit of the eclipse. It was such a unique experience! A bit frustrating, because just after the eclipse, the sun came out!
Solar Eclipse by Carol Petley McColl

Brighton, Ontario

by John Charlton
Class of 1973

I headed down to Presqu'ile for the eclipse. I only got one shot of the eclipse from there. The skies clouded over completely just after this photo. Still, when the moon's shadow passed overhead, it was easy to tell we were in the path of totality. I got a few more shots of the last half of the eclipse as I headed home to Warkworth. The yellow cast on my photos is from the solar filter I was using.
Solar Eclipse by John Charlton
The moon's shadow passing over Presqu'ile Provincial Park on the shores of Lake Ontario by John Charlton
The moon's shadow passing over Presqu'ile Provincial Park on the shores of Lake Ontario.
Three shots from near Orland, Ontario.
Eclipse by John Charlton near Orland, Ontario
Eclipse by John Charlton near Orland, Ontario

Bedford, Quebec

by Doug Fisher
Class of 1973

It was incredible, to the point that I was so immersed that I screwed up the chance to get a decent image at totality. We were mesmerized as it progressed, the dramatic fall in temperature, the sudden appearance of the planets in the daytime (now nighttime) sky, the birds who were quiet, suddenly issuing a chorus of morning songs, and the eerie stillness of the event.

I made a rookie mistake, which was costly. At totality, the solar filter effectively blacked everything out. I mistakenly believed that I had knocked the tripod and lost the sun. I searched through the lens trying desperately to find it again in the short window of totality. Only after a panicky couple of minutes did it dawn on me, that I had to remove the solar filter!!!

I removed it, and tried vainly to get the corona in focus, but as I'd wasted the little time available, I only managed a couple miserable blurry shots of the actual magic. But the saving grace was I saw the whole glorious event with my naked eyes and it was wonderful.

Solar Eclipse by Doug Fisher
I got this cell phone image as totality approached.
Solar Eclipse by Doug Fisher
Solar Eclipse by Doug Fisher
Solar Eclipse by Doug Fisher
That blotch on the surface of the sun, is not a dust particle, it is a sunstorm, and it seems according to the experts that it is roughly the size of planet Mars! Astronomical magnitudes truly make you feel rather minute and insignificant in the greater scheme of the ever expanding universe. I hope you all enjoyed the show...we sure did!


After our last school Governing Board meeting Principle Mervin Hunter gave the group a tour of the school pointing out the various defects that the school and school board are trying to deal with. It is a big list but here are a few of the items we covered.

1. The new gym floor is starting to come apart at the seams in a few places. The floor is made up of twelve foot rolls and the seams are joined with a type of two sided tape that is essentially ironed into place. The good news is that they think it will be relatively easy and inexpensive to fix.

2. Several of the toilets are broken and waiting for a plumber contractor to attend to them. The problem is compounded by the fact that students are only permitted to use the two front hall bathrooms. The old back hall bathrooms are reserved for the exclusive use of Reach students. The two new back hall bathrooms that were built when the new gym was constructed have been put off limits because of repeated vandalism and inappropriate use, mainly vaping, but perhaps smoking weed as well. They are located in a relatively remote area and are difficult to monitor so the solution was to restrict their use. What a shame and complete waste.

3. Equipment in the weight room is in a sad state of repair and has become dangerous to use. The school has earmarked more than $15,000 to upgrade everything to modern standards. They expect improvements to be completed over the summer.

4. The most serious problem continues to be the lifting of the front hall floor (a few other areas as well). It was so bad that a teacher tripped and fell then lost several months recovering from a knee injury. Some minor ad hoc repairs and patching have been carried out but they still haven’t determined what is causing the problem. They have tested for pyrite and apparently that is not an issues. Some feel that there is an old water line running under the floor that has corroded causing water to infiltrate and lift the concrete. Other remember that the school was built on what used to be wet lands and perhaps mother nature is slowly taking over. The school board plans to bring in experts this summer, tear up sections of the floor and finally figure out what is going on and develop a plan to fix it.

Numerous other minor problems are being dealt with but getting contractors to do the work and/or approval by the school board is difficult time consuming. The school doesn’t have the autonomy they need to deal directly with some of things that need to be done.

Harvey Carter

Life Member - C'60 - Editor, Alumni Connection


Ian McClintock
Ian McClintock
Class of 1975

Ian McClintock
Class of 1975

Ian McClintock

Ian Alexander Boyd McClintock passed away at home on March 1, 2024 after almost a year long battle with cancer.   He was born in Montreal on October 5, 1957 and his family moved to Toronto in 1977.  Over the years he worked for various telecom companies and was very technically minded.

Ian enjoy camping in earlier days; loved his dogs Brigand, Oregon, Oreo and Eddie; and enjoyed playing his banjo.  He was a solitary man with a big heart.

He leaves behind his wife Anne; son Jesse (Sarah); granddaughter Alison; and sister Maureen. He was predeceased by his mother Louise (Peggy) in 1991, and his father James (Jim) in 2011. 

He will be deeply missed.  Gone too soon.

Pierre Dansereau
Class of 1971

Pierre Dansereau

Pierre Marnoch Dansereau

Pierre Marnoch Dansereau passed away suddenly in his home in New Westminster, on January 18th, 2024.
Born January 15th, 1953 in Halifax, Nova Scotia, he leaves behind his stepfather Don, sisters Suzanne,
Claire, Lorraine and brother-in-law Craig; nephews Jeremy, Mathieu (Amelia and Ezra); niece Britta,
grandnieces Nadia, Stephanie and Faith; his uncle Fernand, aunts Suzanne and Françoise, and many
cousins and is predeceased by his parents Kathleen (Jackie) Abney and Jacques Dansereau. He also leaves
behind his fiancée Beth Flory and her family Justin and Jennifer, Marta and Mat, and their children for whom he
became their much-loved Grand Papa.

He grew up in Montreal, then Baie-Comeau and returned to Saint Lambert for high school. He was a chef in Montreal, Ottawa and Calgary and settled in Vancouver where he built a computer sales and in-home repair business, Pierre's PC Help.

Families, friends, clients and neighbours remember his gentle nature, kindness and sense of humour that will be greatly missed. A celebration-of-life will be held at a later date. You are invited to send messages and/or pictures to this online message board.

And Finally...

Random Thoughts

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable
undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women.
They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just
grateful." - Robert De Niro

And the cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good spit it out. - anon.

Some more Rodney

I remember the time that I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.

I'm so ugly...I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get.

With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff.

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control.

A sign/clock of the times

A man died and went to Heaven. As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asked, 'What are all those clocks?'

St. Peter answered, 'Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone who has ever been on earth has a Lie-Clock.  Every time you lie, the hands on your clock move.'

'Oh', said the man. 'Whose clock is that?'

'That's Mother Teresa's', replied St. Peter. 'The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.'

'Oh', said the man. 'And whose clock is that?'

St. Peter responded, 'That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abraham told only two lies in his entire life.'

'Where's Donald Trump's clock?' asked the man.

St Peter replied, 'Jesus has it in his office. He uses it as a ceiling fan.'

You asked for it

An 84-year-old man is having a drink in Harpoon Harry's. Suddenly a
gorgeous girl enters and sits down a few seats away.

The girl is so attractive that he just can't take his eyes off her. After a
short while, the girl notices him staring, and approaches him.

Before the man has time to apologize, the girl looks him deep in the eyes
and says to him in a sultry tone: "I'll do anything you'd like. Anything
you can imagine in your wildest dreams, it doesn't matter how extreme or
unusual it is, I'm game. I want $100, and there's another condition."

Completely stunned by the sudden turn of events, the man asks her what her
condition is. You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three

The man takes a moment to consider the offer from the beautiful woman.  He
whips out his wallet and puts $100 dollars into her hand...

He then looks her square in the eyes, and says slowly and clearly: "Paint my house."

How to stop people from bugging you about getting married

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."

They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

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